Super blurry picture but that’s my dad and me. And yes that super edgy haircut I’m sporting is thanks to my parents.

Anyone who’s super close to me knows that I’m obsessed with my dad (and now you know that too:)). He’s not physically here anymore but lives with me in spirit. It’s been 8 years. I was crazy about him and love that he somehow manages to sneak into at least one thing I’m doing or thinking or seeing every single day and reminds me of him. Nicely played, abbu.

I was talking to two of my best friends a few days ago and suddenly remembered something that Abbu always used to say that’s stayed with me. I was telling them about that one line and it suddenly hit me, after all these years, how much of an impact those words had had on me and I think it’s one of the things (among the so many others he used to do) that helped me develop my independent spirit that I’m so happy with today (even though at that time I’d be like, ‘Okay, okay. I know Abbu!’).

Every single day at school dropoff, Abbu would wait for me to get out of the car (and he did this for all siblings, I think, but I’m self-centered so I only remember my part, hah. Plus we all went to different schools, so). Just before I could shut the car door, Abbu would sing out his signature line.

“Take care, be good. Don’t do what I won’t. And if you do it, just do it!” Every single day. With a giant smile, every single time (I’d never be able to be cheerful for my nonexistent kids at 7 am, that too every morning). The days I’d repeat the line with him, he’d be over the moon.

I’m stunned now at the simplicity of this and yet the power it holds. He always pushed me to be a good person, was the most contented human being I’ve ever known (never heard him dwell over material milestones) and always, always drove me to do what I wanted. When I wanted to move to Karachi for work at 21 and live entirely on my own, he was the one who never tried to convince me to figure out another solution. He just told my mom that’s what I needed to do.
He used to frequently email me when I was in Karachi and even though he used different words, the core remained the same. He’d warn me of all the things I could get into, having all the freedom in the world while living on my own, yet he always ended the note with telling me to go after my heart and do what I wanted to do.

I wish I’d realised the power of his words then, I would have thanked him for doing this simple little thing everyday and truly making my life.

I realised this and immediately told my best friend, who’s a mother to the most spunky little boy ever, and told her to find that one line that fits their dynamic and say it to him every day. Because that’s one of the best gifts you can give to your child – help shape their values so you don’t need to do anything else for them when you’re not around.